You Don't Just Need to Survive This.
You Were Made to Be Restored.
An Intimate Betrayal Recovery coaching program that is trauma-informed and partner-sensitive for those of Christian faith — who do not want to have to choose between Biblical truths applied in our modern world and evidence-based approaches that are practical and effective. We give you both.
Whether you reconcile, separate, or are still deciding — this is still for you.
Find My Pathway →Rooted, Refined & Restored Coaching Program provides not just expert guidance gained from professional training, but also from lived, personal experience.
We take what has worked, and what hasn't, and then we build teachings, protocols, and tools accordingly!
And we meet you right where you are in your story, and walk with you all the way through to restoration — whether that's just you, or eventually him too, or the two of you together.
You don't have to know whether your relationship is going to make it before committing to our program — in fact, making the restoration of YOU your primary focus will help keep the fear down by letting go of the outcome in the relationship. Because God's promise of restoration doesn't depend on the marriage, and the way we support you in any program tier or pathway, will serve you no matter what!
This is a Faith Journey, and we help connect you to be fully equipped with the best tools we learned, packaged in a way that meets the demands of busy lives and the need to have tangible help 24x7 through the on-demand videos and worksheets — because yes, we know the need for a helpful resource often arises in the middle of a sleepless night…
Think of it like getting a session from us whether it's 1 am or 5 am.
You can access the Garden Community 24x7 to ask for prayer or ask a question, and if you are in the Supported or Held Tiers, you will have a community of women in the same phase of the journey as you are!
And of course, we will not change the Gospel of Jesus from the truths that it contains, and we will lead you to seek Him in every decision along the way, using the tools and resources alongside the Word of God!
We are not here to tell you what to do. We are here to equip you with truth and tools for the journey ahead.
Welcome!
We are glad you found us.
Explore All Support Options
This Is Not Generic Relationship Coaching.
We don't hand every woman the same worksheet, the same course, or the same six-step plan.
Here's what sets us apart!
A Real Process, Not a Template
We start with a genuinely thorough process of getting to know you — your story, your marriage, your specific wounds. From there, we give you a real recommendation of exactly where to start and which tools will actually help — not a cookie-cutter path handed to every woman who walks through the door.
Biblical Truth, Not Legalism
Everything we do is centered on the life and principles of Jesus Christ Himself — and His command to love. We will never let a rulebook approach to recovery override the heart, soul, safety, and life of the human being in front of us.
Does any of this sound familiar?
- You discovered something that shattered your entire reality, and you don't know which end is up
- You feel like you're going crazy — you want to believe him but you don't, you don't want to worry but you are, and you never questioned his values before and now you question who he even is
- You want to know: Will I ever be okay again? Is God still in this?
You're not broken. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do. And there is a path through this — one built specifically for where you are now, and one that can take you all the way to finding beauty for ashes, and even joy — regardless of whether your marriage is able to be restored or not.
To say it plainly: this is about YOUR recovery — not marriage preservation. Whether you reconcile, separate, or are still deciding, this is still for you.
"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted... to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning."— Isaiah 61:1, 3
Hello!
I'm Danielle — some call me Dani.
Certified Professional Coach · Gottman Level 1 · Certified Restoration Coach · Certified APSATS Professional · Certified Brainspotting Practitioner · Relational Life Therapy (RLT) Trained · Prepare & Enrich Facilitator · 20+ Years in the Helping Professions · Former Addictions Counselor · Host of "If I Were the Devil: The War on Love" Podcast · Wife · Mom of 3 Young Adults · Jesus-Lover · Nature-Lover · Blogger · Founder · Trauma Survivor
Welcome!
I am so glad you are here, because I created Rooted, Refined & Restored with YOU in mind.
Because I know what it's like to rock yourself to sleep wondering if you should stay or go. Wondering if it's better or worse for the kids if you stayed or went. Wondering if you'd given enough time, done enough of your own work, or if it was just time to throw up the white flag in defeat and surrender.
I know what it's like to want help but not know who the best help actually is. And unfortunately, I found out the hard way that some licensed professionals did not know how to work with marriages navigating active addiction. I got blamed, gaslit, and told that "love doesn't always feel good."
I'm sure those professionals were doing the best they could with the training they had — and that was the problem. They didn't have the training that I didn't even know existed, until after I was through the last marital storm — and standing on the other side.
I created Rooted, Refined & Restored for those who are seeking to keep Christ and Biblical principles at the center of their recovery work, but need more than "just pray and wait," or being told they simply "need to forgive," or to go "look at your part in this." I could go on and on — but I do really mean it when I say I created this program for you.
Because this was exactly the program I needed.
No guessing whether the person I was working with would understand and encourage Biblical truths or not.
No guessing whether they were equipped to address my trauma, my grief, my anger, my attachment wounds, and support me in naming everything that was happening to me, inside of me, and between me and him.
- I needed someone to hold Derek accountable to his recovery work before addressing our communication, or my past, or my need to forgive.
- I needed to know there was an actual process we could move through — and that he was responsible for more than I was in the beginning of our process, because he did the damage; I just reacted to it.
- I needed to feel very safe with the person I was working with, after Derek became safe and accountable, before she challenged me around the things I needed to look at in myself (the timing & delivery of that is so very important!)
- I needed to know there were real processes we could move through to get the truth and learn what I was "allowed" to ask for along the way. Since I didn't have context of healthy marriages, I didn't know what a healthy relationship even looked like!
Listen — I had a Master's Degree in Mental Health and was working as a Certified Addictions Counselor in a Trauma Recovery Hospital, and I had never heard the words "betrayal trauma," never heard of APSATS, and didn't know that working with couples navigating infidelity is a completely different discipline than other kinds of relational work. So please don't shame yourself for what you didn't know about all of this. You are not behind. And you are here now.
I also know what it's like to come through it.
Not around it, not over it — through it.
My husband and I have our own story of betrayal and marriage restoration, and it is actually one of my "beauty of ashes" experiences! It is also why I am so committed to growing, learning, and helping others along the way, because for me, this is work that impacts not just you, but your entire family, community, and even the world — this is Kingdom Work!
I am also 20 years sober from alcohol and substances — and so I do know firsthand what it takes to get sober and stay sober. I bring that hard-won wisdom into everything that I do, whether it is to help the one who has been betrayed by a secret addiction, or the one who is in bondage to addiction and needs hope and tools to get out!
I am not here to fix you, or anyone.
You are not broken, but you are bruised, and you are hurting.
Me and my team are here to guide you, because we have walked this road and know the terrain... And if you need additional clinical care, we will support you in getting that level of support as well by providing resources and feedback as you need!
You are not alone in this fight any longer!
A Family in Recovery, Together
Addiction affects the entire family... but so does recovery.
Rooted, Refined & Restored isn't only created from education and wisdom. It is also Danielle's story — but it's also a family story.
Derek (Dani's husband) is in long-term sobriety and walks alongside men in RITE Group and Tough Love.
And it's also a part of our three kids' story. Now young adults, our children grew up watching their parents fight for restoration up close.
We provide the opportunity for you to "Ask the Kid" — submit your questions and hear directly from our adult children, answered for you in a private podcast. What it has been like for them to see the various processes their parents walked through in recovery, their dad's relapse and out-of-home separation, and the persistence of faith and community support every step of the way.
You ask the questions — one or all of them will answer from their experience.
However You Need Support, We Meet You There.
Whether you're walking this alone or alongside him, here's exactly what each pathway includes.
A full pathway through Rooted, Refined, and Restored — with a level of support that fits her time, budget, and need.
- →3 tier options — solo, at your pace (or Couples Support, together)
- →On-demand video modules, phase-specific to where you are — taught by Dani, APSATS Certified
- →The Garden — a free peer community, moderated by our team, for any woman of Christian faith navigating betrayal recovery
- →Supported & Held Tiers: phase-specific virtual, interactive small groups 2x monthly, led by Dani or another team member for deeper connection with safe community
- →Discounts on other offerings
Non-clinical, faith-centered support — sobriety first, then the deeper work of becoming a safe, trustworthy man.
- →Individual accountability coaching with Derek
- →RITE Group (Restoring Intimacy Through Empathy) — An on-demand course with 12+ lessons that are self-paced, plus live group access for growth, Q&A, and accountability
- →Tough Love Growth Community for virtual, interactive accountability, discipleship, and vulnerable, authentic connection
- →Full Therapeutic Disclosure support, done directly with our coaches or in collaboration with other professionals you're working with
- →Referrals coordinated for anything beyond coaching's scope
Couples coaching with Danielle, alongside continued individual support for each of you — the shape of your sessions changes as you grow.
- →Monthly couples coaching with Danielle, length & frequency by phase
- →Individual coaching continues for her and for him each month
- →Her Garden community + his Tough Love community, both included
- →Session structure shifts from Rooted into Refined, by design
- →Course discounts for both partners at every level
The Pathway to Your Restoration is Made Clear
Every Woman Starts Where She Is.
The Rooted, Refined & Restored Pathway meets you exactly where you are.
No starting over.
No catching up.
Where you are in the journey, what you have already done, and what it is you need will place you where you need to be — in Rooted, Refined, or Restored.
Nothing missed, and nothing wasted.
We help you determine the best placement from the start.
Support For Her, Men's Pathway, and Couples Support are offered so that you can move through the work on your own. If and when you're ready, there's a track for him too — but nothing here requires that.
Not Sure Where to Start?
Take the Free Quiz →No pressure, no obligation — this is just for you to explore.
The ground has shifted beneath you. In the Rooted phase, we slow down, find your footing, and build the foundation that makes all restoration possible. You don't need to know the lingo or have the right words — we will walk you through every step.
"Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong." — Ephesians 3:17, NLT
You are ready to go deeper. In the Refined phase, we grieve what was lost, loosen the grip of who you thought you were, and begin to discover who you actually are — apart from the betrayal, apart from the pain, and rooted in something unshakeable.
"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify... and refine them like gold and silver." — Malachi 3:3, NIV
Restored is not about going back to who you were before. It is about becoming someone you may not have met yet. In this phase, you step into a new vision for your life — with or without reconciliation — anchored in your true identity in Christ.
"To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning." — Isaiah 61:3, NIV
This Program Is Best For You If...
- You're trying to hold your faith together while simultaneously questioning everything you believed
In learning more about you, we can help you decide if Rooted or Refined is best. Take the quiz to find out →
- You want the truth — the whole truth — but you didn't even know that was something you're allowed to ask for, or how to actually get there
It sounds like Rooted is best, and we can help you with options for getting the truth you want — and need, and deserve.
- You know you need boundaries, but if someone asked you to name even one, you wouldn't know where to start
Rooted would be best for you — boundaries are discussed there — and we also have a full course, Boundaries Bootcamp, which you'll be eligible for at a discount once you enroll in any pathway.
- Maybe he is doing the work, he says he's sober — but you are still angry, and unsure if or how you can ever forgive
You may both benefit from him participating in the RITE Group (see Men's Pathway), and you may benefit from Shattered Dreams Grief Group. Discounts are available once you're enrolled in any of our pathways.
- You've already done so much of the work, and now you're asking a different question — Who am I now that this is part of my story?
You are Rooted. Now let's get you through Refined and Restored. If you haven't yet done intentional grief work, we recommend Shattered Dreams. If you have, you're likely ready for Restored — and Free to Love is a course that ensures you leave no stone unturned in your process.
- You know you need help, but you're unsure what kind of help you actually need — you want someone professionally trained, who shares your Biblical values, who won't pass blame or tell you to just "pray more" or "forgive," and who truly understands the hurt, the pain, and the way to restoration
You are in the right place. We also have a lesson that walks through the different types of help recommended for him, for you, and what to stay away from. Join us.
What Is The Garden?
A place to be known, not just supported.
The Garden is a free peer community for any woman of Christian faith who is navigating intimate betrayal recovery — moderated by our Rooted, Refined & Restored team to keep it safe. It's led by the women in it, not by our staff.
Betrayal isolates. It convinces you that no one else could understand what you're carrying, or that you're the only one who has ever felt this way.
The Garden exists to prove that voice wrong — a space where you can show up exactly as you are, on your hardest days and your best ones, surrounded by women who genuinely get it.
This isn't a public Facebook group or an open forum. It's a private, peer-led space inside your Client Portal, built specifically for Christian women navigating intimate betrayal recovery — so every conversation happening here is safe, relevant, and rooted in faith.
Why Women Love The Garden
- Feel Less Alone — connect with women who are walking the same road, in real time
- Ask Anything — post a question, share a win, process a hard day, or ask for prayer
- Grow in Faith — scripture, encouragement, and community centered on Christ
- Peer-Led, Team-Moderated — the conversation belongs to the women in it; our Rooted, Refined & Restored team moderates for safety, not to lead discussion
- Totally Free — open to any woman of Christian faith navigating betrayal recovery, no enrollment or tier required
What's Actually Inside
The Garden is free for any woman of Christian faith navigating intimate betrayal recovery — whether or not you're enrolled in another Rooted, Refined & Restored program.
Rooted, Refined & Restored Women
Smaller. More personal. Matched to your phase.
This is a second, separate community from The Garden — included with Rooted & Supported and Rooted & Held. Where The Garden is a large, free peer group, this is a smaller, more phase-specific and personalized group, led directly by Dani or another Rooted, Refined & Restored team member.
What Happens Here
- 2x monthly live virtual sessions — led by Dani or another Rooted, Refined & Restored team member, not just peers
- Smaller, phase-specific groups — matched to where you are, not a one-size-fits-all room
- Live Q&A — bring your real questions and get direct answers from our team
- Book Studies — guided study through faith-rooted, recovery-relevant books
- Specialty Groups — additional focused groups added as the community grows
Included with Rooted & Supported Tier and Rooted & Held Tier. This is on top of your free Garden access, not instead of it. Rooted & Guided includes Garden access; this smaller, personalized group is reserved for Supported and Held members.
If you're starting in Rooted, here's exactly what you get.
Every tier includes The Garden — Supported & Held Tiers add Rooted, Refined & Restored Women live groups.
(Higher tiers add 1:1 coaching and small groups.)
Ready to start in Refined or Restored instead? See what's included at those phases further down the page.
Phase-Matched Video Teachings with Danielle
These are not generic videos. Each teaching is recorded by Danielle herself — APSATS Certified, faith-rooted, partner-sensitive, trauma-informed, and evidence-based — covering topics she would walk you through personally in a 1:1 session. More than 10 hours of on-demand content (with more being added regularly!) means you can pause, take notes, revisit, and bring what you're learning into your coaching sessions to unpack together.
This means that your recovery can be expedited by ensuring that you have foundational information, understanding, and application to restore your body, mind, and spirit — in spite of what you have experienced.
Real value, not filler: Your phase curriculum represents 10+ hours of Dani's recorded teaching — session-equivalent content worth $1,750+ at her 1:1 rate, included in every level of support.
Access to The Garden Free
A private, faith-rooted, peer-led community of women who get it — because they're in it too. Grow here in your faith, in relationships with other women, and in a space where you are truly seen and supported. Free for any woman of Christian faith navigating intimate betrayal recovery — see the full breakdown of what's inside above.
Rooted, Refined & Restored Women: Smaller, Personalized Groups Supported & Held Tiers
2x monthly live sessions led directly by Dani or another Rooted, Refined & Restored team member — smaller, phase-specific groups, plus Q&A, book studies, and specialty groups. This is a separate community from The Garden, included with Rooted & Supported and Rooted & Held. See the full breakdown above.
45-Min Onboarding Session with Dani Rooted & Supported Tier +
Before you take a single step in the program, you meet with Danielle personally. She reviews your onboarding documents, understands your story, and maps exactly how you'll move through your phase. From there, Dani pairs you with your dedicated coach and passes along your personalized "getting started" plan — so the handoff feels seamless, and your coach already knows your story before your first session together.
Betrayal Recovery Workbooks & Video Teachings
Purpose-built workbooks for your phase — not generic journaling prompts, but clinically-informed, theologically-grounded tools for processing your specific recovery stage.
1:1 Coaching Support Rooted & Supported Tier +
Monthly individual coaching sessions with your dedicated team coach — bringing expertise, presence, and personalized support to your unique recovery journey.
Private Podcast Vault Access Rooted & Held Tiers Only
Exclusive audio content for Rooted & Held members — teaching, encouragement, and support you can take with you wherever you go. Submit questions or topics you'd like Dani to teach on, and she'll provide new episodes by request — or point you to where it's already been covered if the topic has been addressed before.
Monthly "Ask the Unfaithful" Session with Derek Rooted & Held Tiers Only
A rare and powerful opportunity — Danielle's husband Derek joins the group monthly to answer the questions betrayed women most want to ask the unfaithful partner. Unscripted. Honest. Redemptive.
Bonus: Kayla's Story — In Her Own Words Rooted & Held Tiers Only
Kayla is Danielle and Derek's adult daughter — and she was elementary school age when her parents were walking through betrayal and recovery. As a Rooted & Held member you receive an exclusive audio recording of Kayla speaking at a women's conference in Colorado, sharing her experience growing up with parents in recovery. Unscripted, honest, and unlike anything else you'll find in this space.
And there's more coming! Submit your questions you'd like to hear answered by one of Derek and Dani's three young adult children — and listen to the answers on a private, exclusive podcast!
Additional Support Available Add-On
Need more support than your level includes? Members enrolled in the Guided, Supported, and Held Tiers may schedule 1:1 sessions at $175/session.
A Couples Consult is also available — a 90-minute session at $300.
(Note: Couples sessions are included in Couples Support. This consultation option is provided as a resource for those who may not be ready to commit to full couples coaching.)
Already done the work in Rooted? See what's included in Refined →
Carly
Certified — Treatment of Sexual Compulsivity & Partner Betrayal Trauma (Light University) · Shattered Dreams Grief Group Facilitator · Individual Coach for WomenCarly understands the deep pain of betrayal trauma through her own experience of navigating a 12-year marriage impacted by intimacy betrayal. She spent three years intentionally pursuing healing and recovery through support groups, one-on-one coaching, and a couples recovery program with her husband.
A significant part of Carly's healing journey came through participating in the Shattered Dreams grief group, where she was able to identify and process years of unresolved grief. Through that experience, what once felt like a difficult life with occasional beautiful moments gradually became a beautiful life that still held difficult moments. Although her marriage ultimately proved irreconcilable, the healing and personal growth she experienced became life-giving and transformative.
Through her recovery journey, Carly gained profound insight into the heartaches of this world, the faithfulness of God, the importance of healthy community, and the value of embracing her unique identity grounded in truth. She completed the Treatment of Sexual Compulsivity and Partner Betrayal Trauma Certificate Program through Light University and practices from a partner-sensitive, trauma-informed approach.
Today, Carly is passionate about helping other women find healing, safety, and hope after betrayal. She supports women in developing healthy boundaries, deepening connection with themselves, God, and others, practicing self-compassion, grieving losses, and living with intention and authenticity.
Carly now leads support groups, including the same Shattered Dreams group that played a pivotal role in her own healing, and provides one-on-one coaching for women navigating betrayal trauma. She is committed to walking alongside women with wisdom, empathy, and compassion as they move toward peace, freedom, and renewed joy.
⚠ Founding Member Rates — 2026 Only — Locked for Life
Choose Your Level of Support
Every level includes free access to The Garden — Supported & Held Tiers add smaller, personalized Rooted, Refined & Restored Women groups.
Or pay annually: $1,500/year (2 months free)
The lowest cost, the most time commitment. Without live coaching support, your pace and progress depend on you — this level works best for women who have the time and self-motivation to move through the material independently.
- ✓ Access to The Garden — free peer community
- ✓ Rooted workbook
- ✓ 10+ hours of video teaching from Dani (equivalent to 10 sessions — a $1,750+ value) — currently adding more content!
- ★ 10% off courses (Free to Love, Boundaries Bootcamp — coming soon!, Shattered Dreams Grief Group)
- ✓ No individual coaching sessions included
- ✓ Individual coaching session packages available at the current rate at time of booking
Note: The video curriculum in Rooted & Guided is the same content included at every level — we simply offer it here as an option for those on a smaller budget, or who need more time to digest the material at their own pace.
Get StartedRenewable at current rate · 3-month commitment
What you receive over 3 months
Renewable at your current rate
Founding Member Rate — 2026
Your rate is locked in for life — as long as you stay active, it never increases.
- ✓ 45-min onboarding session with Dani
- ✓ 1x monthly 1:1 Coaching Support
- ✓ Access to The Garden — free peer community
- ✓ Rooted, Refined & Restored Women: smaller, personalized groups 2x monthly (Rooted & Supported Tier)
- ✓ Completion session with Dani
- ✓ Additional individual sessions: $175/session
- ✓ Couples Consult available: 90-min session at $300
- ★ Bonus: Rooted eBook download — prompts, checklists & tools (a $29 value)
- ★ 20% off Premium Courses (Free to Love, Shattered Dreams Grief Group, Boundaries Bootcamp)
- ★ $100 off Soul Care Retreats
Renewable at current rate · 3-month commitment
What you receive over 3 months
Renewable at your current rate
Founding Member Rate — 2026
Lock in $597/mo now — your rate will not increase as long as you remain actively enrolled
Your rate is locked in for life — as long as you stay active, it never increases.
- ✓ 45-min onboarding + completion with Dani
- ✓ 2x monthly 1:1 Coaching Support
- ✓ Access to The Garden — free peer community
- ✓ Rooted, Refined & Restored Women: smaller, personalized groups 2x monthly (Rooted & Held Tier)
- ✓ Private Podcast Vault access
- ✓ Monthly Ask the Unfaithful session (Derek)
- ✓ Additional individual sessions: $175/session
- ✓ Couples Consult available: 90-min session at $300
- ★ Bonus: Kayla's conference recording + monthly Q&A interview series
- ★ Bonus: Rooted eBook download — prompts, checklists & tools (a $29 value)
- ★ 50% off Premium Courses (Free to Love, Shattered Dreams Grief Group, Boundaries Bootcamp)
- ★ $250 off Soul Care Retreats
Pay Annually — Get 2 Months Free
Commit to a full year and we'll give you 2 months free. Pay for 10, get 12 — locked in at your founding member rate for the entire year.
Founding member rate locked for full year
Founding Member Price Lock: Join in 2026 and your rate is locked in for as long as you remain an active renewable monthly member. Your price will never increase — no matter what our regular rates become.
Session Breakdown by Recovery Phase and by Level of Support
Individual sessions are coaching sessions — your phase-matched curriculum and videos are separate from these sessions, but included in the monthly membership cost. Currently over 10 hours of content recorded by Danielle (with more being added!), which saves time of work in the sessions!
Live Group reflects your Rooted, Refined & Restored Women sessions (Supported & Held Tiers) held 2x monthly. The Garden is free peer community access included at every level and isn't reflected in these session counts.
Per Month = total sessions each month, including groups.
| Level | 1:1 Coaching | Live Group | Per Month | 3-Month Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Phase 1 — Rooted | ||||
| Rooted & Guided | None included | Not included | 0 sessions | Unlimited access to The Garden for peer support |
| Rooted & Supported | 1 × 45 min monthly | 2x monthly | 3 sessions | 11 sessions |
| Rooted & Held | 2 × 45 min monthly | 2x monthly | 4 sessions | 17 sessions |
| Rooted & Held also includes: the opportunity to submit your questions to both "Ask the Unfaithful" (with Derek) and "Ask the Kid" — answered for you in a private podcast — plus full Private Podcast Vault access, on top of the coaching and group sessions above. | ||||
| Phase 2 — Refined | ||||
| Refined & Held | 2 × 45 min monthly | 2x monthly | 4 sessions | Everything in Rooted & Held, continued |
| Refined & Held: 6-month minimum commitment, curriculum specific to your unique relational season, and Shattered Dreams Grief Group included (a $780 value). Currently offered at the Held level only. | ||||
| Phase 3 — Restored | ||||
| Restored | Custom — by application · investment based on your unique needs | |||
Questions? [email protected]
The Foundation Is Set — Now It's Time to Begin Rebuilding.
After the foundation has been laid, and you are ready to move into building anew — deciding what you are carrying into the next season, and what you are leaving behind — you are ready for Refined.
You Don't Have to Begin in Rooted to Join Us in Refined
We want you to start where you need to. We are not a "cookie cutter" program. If you've done some work before finding us, that's perfectly fine — you'll have access to all of the Rooted curriculum, to work through anything that may be a refresher, or anything that was missed.
Or, if you've started with us in Rooted, moved through the curriculum, done the work, and are ready to move into a new phase of recovery — we'll get you access to the new material.
It starts with a consultation call with Dani to discuss where to begin, and we'll get you started when you're ready.
Founding Member Rate — 2026
Lock in $647/mo now — your rate will not increase as long as you remain actively enrolled
Your rate is locked in for life — as long as you stay active, it never increases.
- ✓ Everything included in Rooted & Held Tier
- ✓ Work with Dani (or stay with your current coach if you prefer!)
- ✓ Curriculum and homework specific to the messy middle of wherever you are in your relationship — single, separated, in reparation, divorced. We meet you where you are.
- ✓ A consult with Dani to discuss an action plan for your unique journey
- ✓ Commit to a full year and Shattered Dreams Grief Group is included (a $780 value)
Refined is a 6-month program — a deeper, longer phase of work than Rooted. It is currently offered at the Held level only; as new content and support options are built out, more levels of support may become available.
Shattered Dreams: Faith-Centered Grieving From Intimate Betrayal
From a list of losses to a release, restore, or reclaim.
Best done during the Refined phase — but also available as a standalone course for any woman ready to intentionally grieve what betrayal has taken from her.
Betrayal crushes the spirit — leaving you feeling alone, ashamed, confused, and heartbroken. Danielle has walked this road personally, and so have hundreds of women she's supported. Healing is not only possible — it's a promise from God, if we say "yes" to Him.
This course is for Christian women who have experienced betrayal trauma and are seeking a safe, supportive space to grieve — emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. It's designed especially for women who feel stuck in the healing process, whether the pain is fresh or you've carried it for years.
Why Join Shattered Dreams
- Heal Together — connect with women who truly understand your grief
- Gain Clarity — find truth in what is real, what is trauma, and what is grief
- Let Go — choose what you're willing to release, so you can have more peace
- Gain Freedom — break free from shame, guilt, and confusion
- Rebuild With Wisdom — learn how to trust again without compromising your boundaries
- Reclaim Your Identity — rediscover who you are beyond the betrayal
What to Expect
A confidential 15-minute consultation is required before joining, to make sure this course is the right fit for where you are.
Any woman can enroll in Shattered Dreams — whether or not she is currently enrolled in another Rooted, Refined & Restored program.
Video teachings recorded by Danielle Lew, MSW, CPC, APSATS-CCPS. Live weekly support facilitated by a Partner-Sensitive, Trauma-Informed Coach.
"Healing isn't about forgetting what happened — it's about letting Him have your hurts and transforming them."
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
— Psalm 147:3, NIV
For Shattered Dreams, Choose the Best Payment Option for You.
All payment options give you the same full access — the grief curriculum and workbook, weekly live sessions with a coach, exclusive community access, and 1 full year to complete the program.
- ✓ Full program access
- ✓ Grief curriculum + workbook
- ✓ Weekly live session with a coach
- ✓ 1 full year of access
- ★ Bonus: Onboarding call with Dani
- ✓ Full program access
- ✓ Grief curriculum + workbook
- ✓ Weekly live session with a coach
- ✓ 1 full year of access
- ✓ Full program access
- ✓ Grief curriculum + workbook
- ✓ Weekly live session with a coach
- ✓ 1 full year of access
Already in Refined? Shattered Dreams Grief Group is included in your enrollment at no extra cost — no need to purchase it separately. Learn about Support For Her →
Rooted. Refined.
Now You're Ready to Be Restored.
Restored — By Application
You have done some serious work, and you may be ready to step more fully into Restoration — by focusing on identity work, maybe a move, a career change, or maybe even stepping into becoming a helper or healer yourself.
Request a consult and we will discuss a customized path for you, based on your unique needs at this place in your journey — and how we can work with you on where you feel led to go.
We will help you access all that you need to be fully Restored:
Through the Holy Spirit, and offloading what is getting in the way of all that you are being called to become.
In-Person Soul Care Retreats
Come experience deep, rapid transformation.
Sometimes the most powerful next step isn't another weekly session — it's dedicated, focused time to move quickly. Our in-person Soul Care Retreats, held in Gettysburg, PA, are fully customized around your story and where you feel God leading you next.
A Personalized, Integrated Approach
This non-clinical, personalized experience equips you with clarity, tools, and a solid plan moving forward. We integrate Christian values with evidence-based, trauma-informed practices — Prayer, Somatically Focused Inner Healing Prayer, and guided activities — to engage body, mind, and the Holy Spirit.
Your Retreat May Include
Every retreat is fully customizable based on where you are in your journey.
- Reviewing the story work you've already completed
- Mapping out a plan for which areas your soul needs attention
- Using Scripture and spiritual tools to find "lies" and "truths"
- Somatically Focused Inner Healing Prayer to step more fully into truth
- Personalized exercises to help you know your identity, your passions, your purpose, and catch a vision for where God is leading you
The Details
Discounts are available for members currently enrolled in Rooted, Refined, or Restored.
A non-refundable $500 deposit is required at registration. Transportation, lodging, and food are not included, but recommendations are provided upon request.
Gettysburg is about an hour from Harrisburg International Airport, and roughly 90 minutes from both BWI and Dulles.
Please note: Soul Care Retreats are non-clinical and are not a good fit for anyone currently suicidal, active in any kind of addiction, or highly dysregulated. A therapist referral can be arranged for pre- and post-retreat collaboration if needed.
They were where you are.
Rooted Group
"I joined the ROOTED group because I needed connection with other women that 'got me' and understood what I was going thru.— Allison, Rooted Group
My group experience was Amazing! The group of women were great. I connected with quite a few of them and even was able to lean on a few of them outside of the group and get counsel when I had a situation arise.
Since joining I'm not alone! I have other ladies that I can reach out to at any moment. It's a freeing feeling.
I would tell others: Don't hesitate! Sign up. You will be among so many like minded women and it will be just what you have been looking for or something that you didn't realize you needed, I promise!"
Individual & Couples Work
"I have seen counselors/therapists off and on most of my adult life.— CT, PA · Individual & Couples Work
Danielle has given me more guidance and help than any others. I appreciate the good listener she is. She will also tell me the truth when there is an area I need to grow in, but she does it in love.
I feel like I am in a process instead of just stuck.
Her resources have been helpful, too."
Shattered Dreams Group
"I joined the Shattered Dreams Group because I felt stuck in my recovery from finding out about his betrayal of me with porn and another woman for 29 years out of our 61 years of marriage. I had gone to Restore, counseling with Dani, yet in my insides I felt empty, alone and I cried everyday. My mourning went deep. It affected my health which was excellent before the discovery — colds, bronchitis, no energy, not sleeping at night, loss of weight.— Shattered Dreams Group Member
This man I "knew" was trustworthy. We both had an excellent reputation in the area. Other Pastors in the area sent their "flock" to us for Christian marriage counseling. Our children grew up honoring God and they are currently living and serving God. Never did I suspect this could ever happen to me. He immediately resigned from the Pastor position and we enrolled in counseling.
Then Dani offered Shattered Dreams! That title was so descriptive of how I felt! Shattered! 81 years old and discovering that my husband had lied, cheated, deceived, and broken his covenant with me, God and our family.
My group experience was Wonderful, and certainly a period of both growth and healing for me. I immediately had so much empathy for the other women I met. I was encouraged by their strength and persistence to pursue their own healing.
Dani has such amazing insight, understanding and empathetic demeanor that I knew God had led me to this group. I was NOT disappointed. We covered the stages of grief. I learned how to deal with the life after death — worse than death, because others would be mourning with us if someone actually died! Dani was compassionate and kindly listened and coached us to continue doing the hard work of healing our hearts.
Since joining the group I have learned invaluable ways of dealing with the pain of betrayal: I am not making any decisions before I feel ready. I will not doubt every moment of the good times in my marriage as insincere. Grief work is painful but necessary if I am to recover and yes, even forgive. Yes, I have been wounded but I am not dead! I am committed to accept the past and create a new beginning."
Shattered Dreams Group
"Dani has helped me tremendously to adjust to this new journey in my life. Without her I would have remained in the pool of self abasement. She has reminded me consistently that God loves me and I do not have to rely on myself. She and others have survived and used what they have learned to help me... and others like me.— Shattered Dreams Group Member
My heart attitude needs to be consistent with the promises in God's word: "God is for us (me), who can be against me." Romans 8:31.
My husband was in the RITE Men's group and he has done amazingly well in turning a lifetime of needing my accolades and approval, from "woe is me," "I can not do anything right," into an empathetic sensitive husband — most of the time!
I would tell others: Do it now! Stop trying to decide if you should or shouldn't. Do you want to change from a self defeated emotional mess of a woman of God? Then call Dani!!"
Not Sure Where to Start?
Let's Talk First.
A free discovery call is available for women considering Rooted & Supported, Rooted & Held, or Refined & Held. It's not a sales call — it's a real conversation to make sure Rooted, Refined & Restored is the right fit for where you are right now, and to answer any questions before you commit to anything.
"You don't have to have it together to start. You just have to be willing."
Request a Discovery Call →Or email us: [email protected]
Your questions answered.
When you move into Refined, you'll have the choice to continue with Carly or move into direct coaching with Danielle — whatever serves you best at that stage. If at any point you feel your coach pairing isn't the right fit, contact Dani directly — we will work with you to find the right match.
See the full breakdown above for exactly what's included at each level. If your budget and time allow, we do recommend Rooted & Held — it's the deepest level of support and includes access to both Derek and Kayla, who are truly unique to the betrayal recovery space. Very few programs let you connect with the entire family system from different perspectives: a husband who has walked the road of becoming a trustworthy man, and an adult child who grew up watching her parents recover. That perspective is not something you'll easily find anywhere else.
That said, we know Rooted & Held isn't accessible for everyone right now, which is why we've built other options to meet you where you are. You can always increase your level of support later — see the full Agreement terms for details on how that works.
Are You Ready to Become
the Man God Called You to Be?
If you are a man of God who wants to become the leader, husband, and father you were called to be — a man after God's own heart — you need to develop a soft heart.
A soft heart is not a weak heart. It is a wounded heart that has been transformed — a man who knows who he is, and whose he is, renewed in his mind and his body.
Explore All Support Options
However You Need Support, We Meet You There.
Whether you're walking this alone or alongside him, here's exactly what each pathway includes.
A full pathway through Rooted, Refined, and Restored — with a level of support that fits her time, budget, and need.
- →3 tier options — solo, at your pace (or Couples Support, together)
- →On-demand video modules, phase-specific to where you are — taught by Dani, APSATS Certified
- →The Garden — a free peer community, moderated by our team, for any woman of Christian faith navigating betrayal recovery
- →Supported & Held Tiers: phase-specific virtual, interactive small groups 2x monthly, led by Dani or another team member for deeper connection with safe community
- →Discounts on other offerings
Non-clinical, faith-centered support — sobriety first, then the deeper work of becoming a safe, trustworthy man.
- Individual accountability coaching with Derek
- RITE Group (Restoring Intimacy Through Empathy) — An on-demand course with 12+ lessons that are self-paced, plus live group access for growth, Q&A, and accountability
- Tough Love Growth Community for virtual, interactive accountability, discipleship, and vulnerable, authentic connection
- Full Therapeutic Disclosure support, done directly with our coaches or in collaboration with other professionals you're working with
- Referrals coordinated for anything beyond coaching's scope
Couples coaching with Danielle, alongside continued individual support for each of you — the shape of your sessions changes as you grow.
- Monthly couples coaching with Danielle, length & frequency by phase
- Individual coaching continues for her and for him each month
- Her Garden community + his Tough Love community, both included
- Session structure shifts from Rooted into Refined, by design
- Course discounts for both partners at every level
Want to rebuild trust and connection but don't know how?
Men's Pathway exists for men who are done with excuses and ready to walk the road of genuine accountability — and who are willing to do the work to become genuinely trustworthy.
- You've said "I'm sorry" more times than you can count — and it hasn't been enough, because it wasn't backed by genuine change
- You've tried to white-knuckle your way through recovery and ended up back in the same place
- You don't fully understand why you did what you did, which terrifies you
- You want to be the man your wife needs, but you don't know how to get there — or if it's even possible
- You're afraid that if you actually look at the damage you caused, it will destroy you
Options Available Within Men's Pathway
Men's Pathway is for men who are committed to sobriety and want to learn how to restore the relationship — but need help getting there. This support is non-clinical — we're not treating a diagnosis. We're supporting his faith growth and who God created him to be, which helps her feel safe again, and can help break generational patterns for the whole family.
Her recovery and his recovery are both important — however, what kind of work, and when, looks different. Here's exactly how support breaks down.
1. Men's Coaching
In Men's Pathway, the focus is first on abstinence and sobriety. The first step in a 12-Step program is "We admitted we were powerless over ___ and our lives had become unmanageable." That admission is where real change begins.
Coach Derek works individually with men to help them discover the truth of what they're dealing with, understand the true cost of the choices they've made, and set real goals for restoration. Danielle and Derek work directly together to support the process.
2. Couples Work
When a couple is ready to work together, Danielle leads Couples coaching directly — and continues supporting her individually, alongside her supportive coach. Derek's coaching stays focused on him.
3. Group Work
You don't do this alone. Group work is where accountability becomes real — with other men who understand exactly what you're carrying.
Tough Love Community
Live, ongoing connection and accountability with other men doing the same work — not a video to watch, but a room to show up to.
RITE Group (Restoring Intimacy Through Empathy)
The road back to intimacy is through empathy.
The RITE Group becomes an essential next step. This 12+ lesson self-paced course helps you learn how to rebuild safety and connection after betrayal, plus Tough Love Men's Group for live, ongoing accountability.
This comprehensive curriculum was created by Danielle to fill the gap of what was missing for men: not just the how of building trust, but the why it matters — and even the why behind their own struggle. After seeing dozens of men in her practice who were willing to do the work but continued to struggle with the execution of it, this program was built — and it has proven deeply beneficial for those who commit to the process.
If there is problematic sexual behavior/addiction, a minimum of 3–6 months sobriety, etc. is recommended.
The RITE Group exists for men who are done with excuses and ready to walk the road of genuine accountability — and who are willing to do the work to become genuinely trustworthy.
Any man can enroll in the RITE Group — whether or not he is currently enrolled in another Rooted, Refined & Restored program.
Breaking Free from Shame Coming Soon
A natural follow-up to the RITE Group — a standalone workbook for men who recognize the force of shame in their lives and are ready to break free from it, at their own pace.
4. Full Therapeutic Disclosure Work
If the betrayed partner is seeking a Full Therapeutic Disclosure, our coaches are equipped to work with you on completing this process. It is highly recommended as an integral part of recovery — building the foundational trust from which to rebuild, and restoring her agency and her choice in decisions within the relationship. We offer a variety of options to support this work for one or both of you.
5. Consultations & Referrals for Clinical Care
If a need arises beyond 12-Step work, accountability, and coaching support, we help coordinate referrals to qualified professionals. This ensures you get exactly the level of care you need — whether that's within our team or beyond it.
6. From Coaching Alone to Couples Support — When She's Ready
A man can be part of Rooted, Refined & Restored without his wife's participation — she may already be working with someone else, or not be ready, and that's okay. Whenever she is ready, you can move into Couples Support together.
If you're both doing this together, your phases don't even need to match: she could be in Refined working through Shattered Dreams while he's in Rooted or Refined working through RITE. Every part of this can be self-led, on your own timeline.
"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."— Psalm 139:23–24
A closer look at the curriculum.
Here's exactly what's inside the RITE Group.
(The video-based portion of Group Work described above.)
12+ Video Lessons, Self-Paced — Not Tied to a Specific Phase
Every lesson in the RITE Group is recorded by Danielle — faith-rooted, partner-sensitive, trauma-informed, and evidence-based. This is the content she would deliver in a 1:1 session with you, now available on-demand.
Pause it. Rewind it. Take notes. Bring your questions to Tough Love and unpack it with the group.
The curriculum covers foundation & sobriety, inventory & empathy, and amends & integration — not surface-level behavior management, but the deeper transformation that actually makes a man safe.
What You'll Work Through
Plus bonus lessons and additional content continually being added.
Companion Worksheets for Every Lesson
Every video lesson includes a companion worksheet — plus bonus worksheets for deeper application. This is not passive content. You will be asked to do the work on paper, in your own words, in your own life.
Self-Paced · 1 Full Year of Access
Work through the program at your own pace — no cohort to keep up with, no pressure to be further along than you are. You have one full year of access from the date of purchase to move through the material in the order that serves you.
1:1 Accountability Coaching with Derek Add-On
Derek is available for individual accountability coaching sessions alongside your RITE Group work — $140/session. As a man who has done this work himself, completing an ICF credentialed coaching program on top of his Bachelor's Degree in Engineering Technology, along with his lived experience battling trauma and dual addictions, he brings both lived experience and professional training to every session.
Tough Love Community — Included for 6 Months
Your RITE Group enrollment includes 6 months of live group drop-ins with the Tough Love Community — live group coaching with Dani, hot seat coaching, and member-driven support from men doing the same hard work.
- →2x per month — Tuesday nights at 7:00 PM via audio call with Dani (length dependent on group size)
- →Hot seat coaching with Dani — live, personal, and real
- →Cohorts of no more than 7 men — so no one gets lost in the crowd
- →More days and times will be added in the future
After your included 6 months, continue in the Tough Love Growth Community for continued application and accountability of what you learned — alongside other men who have completed the RITE Group.
Continue at $150/month, or prepay for 6 months by paying for 5 months upfront ($750) and get the 6th month FREE.
Bonus for Her — Exclusive Support Group for Wives & Partners RITE Group Bonus
She doesn't have to walk this alone either. As a bonus included with your RITE Group enrollment, his wife or partner is invited into an exclusive space with other women whose husbands or partners are in the RITE Group — a private thread inside our community platform, with a monthly live Q&A with Dani.
- →Private community thread — exclusively for women whose partners are enrolled in RITE
- →Monthly live Q&A with Danielle — ask questions, process what you're noticing, get support in real time
- →Submit questions anytime while he's enrolled in the program — answered inside the private group, accessible to her whenever she needs it
- →She is not required to enroll in Support For Her to access this bonus — it's included simply because he's doing the work
“I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.”— Romans 7:15, NLT · The Apostle Paul
We Know Both Sides of This Table.
Danielle Lew — Certified Professional Coach · APSATS-CCPS · Master's Degree in Mental Health · Former Addictions Counselor · Gottman Level 1 · Relational Life Therapy (RLT) Student · 20+ Years ExperienceDerek Lew — ICF Credentialed Coach (in progress) · B.S. Engineering Technology · Restored Spouse with Years of Sobriety from Multiple Addictions
Our coaching support, programs, and all that we do, was not born out of a textbook. It was out of our own story — a marriage that was broken by betrayal and put back together through the kind of hard, slow, honest work that most people give up on.
Yes, we do have professional training of course, but some of our best inspiration of what we recommend was learned through our fiery trials!
Derek co-facilitates as a man who has done this work — and is now completing an ICF credentialed coaching program on top of his Bachelor's Degree in Engineering Technology, along with his lived experience battling trauma and dual addictions. He sat in the fire. He understands what it costs to actually become trustworthy, and what it feels like to be met with grace on the other side.
As a recovering Vacillator attachment, Danielle knows what is challenging in relationship with someone who is more reserved, very logical, intentional in his work, and very conflict-avoidant — Derek's Avoidant attachment pattern. And Derek knows what it has been like to live with a recovering Vacillator attachment pattern, needing to learn about her and about himself, and the challenges and needs each pattern brings to communication and connection.
If you're new to attachment styles, no worries — we'll help you learn more about this essential part of your human experience, and how it shows up in your relationships. We provide educational videos, tools, and skills to help you learn to change the dynamic of your relationships.
Danielle brings 20+ years of expertise, APSATS training in partner trauma, and a theology of redemption that doesn't let anyone off easy — but also doesn't leave anyone without hope.
Together we built the program we both needed, but didn't know it — and when we found it, we decided to make it even better!
See the Program →They were where you are.
RITE Group
"One of the biggest things that I have learned in this group session is that you really can't have empathy if you don't know yourself. Dani really tried to help us understand aspects of ourselves such as attachment style, areas of shame, and areas we struggle in. I found learning about the attachment styles really helpful, because that is not where we are supposed to be, that is where we need to come from.— R.C., RITE Group Participant
The style of teaching has been dynamic to meet the group's needs and went well beyond what was just covered in the book. Additionally, Dani helped us learn how to frame conversations with our wives to show that empathy in real life situations that we were dealing with. Also the comfort circle was really helpful.
I liked the group format, and because it was a small group it allowed us to not only have time to share but to help and encourage one another. I would recommend this group to others."
RITE Group
"If you want to understand where your wife is in her recovery journey and what you can do to help her, while also growing in your own recovery, then the R.I.T.E. group is for you.— R.T., RITE Group Participant
Danielle provides a ton of information on addiction, attachment, the impact of betrayal trauma, safety, dealing with conflict, empathy, and the road to restoring intimacy. She has a powerful testimony of redemption and demonstrates empathy in every answer.
Through group discussion you get the opportunity to be vulnerable and to cultivate deep relationships with other men that struggle just like you. Highly recommended if you want to learn more about loving your wife sacrificially like Jesus."
One Program. Three Ways to Pay.
All payment options give you the same full access — the 12+ lesson curriculum, all worksheets and bonus materials, 1 full year to complete the program, and 6 months of live group drop-ins with Danielle.
- ✓ Full program access
- ✓ 12+ video lessons
- ✓ All worksheets + bonuses
- ✓ 1 full year of access
- ★ Bonus: Onboarding call with Dani
- ✓ Full program access
- ✓ 12+ video lessons
- ✓ All worksheets + bonuses
- ✓ 1 full year of access
- ✓ Full program access
- ✓ 12+ video lessons
- ✓ All worksheets + bonuses
- ✓ 1 full year of access
Doing Couples Support? Tough Love Community is included in your Couples enrollment — and you receive up to 50% off the RITE Group curriculum (Restoring Intimacy Through Empathy). Learn about Couples Support →
Want Additional Support?
1:1 Accountability Coaching with Derek
Personal support alongside your RITE Group work from a man who has walked this road.
$140 / session
Tough Love Community — Included for 6 Months
Included with your RITE Group enrollment for 6 months of live group drop-ins. After that, continue renewable monthly, or prepay 5 months and get the 6th free.
$150 /mo after your included 6 months
50-Minute Consultation with Danielle
Add on a phone consultation with Danielle at any point during your RITE Group enrollment.
$200 / session
Couples Consult
A 90-minute session with Danielle for you and your spouse.
$300 / session
Still Have Questions?
Talk to Someone Who Has Been There.
A brief discovery call is available before you commit to the RITE Group. Not a sales call — a real conversation to make sure this is the right fit for where you are right now.
"The fact that you're reading this is already the beginning."
Request a Discovery Call →Or email us: [email protected]
Your questions answered.
Danielle is herself in recovery from substance addiction — for more than 20 years. She gets the battle with addiction firsthand. She also gets what it's like to be impacted by a husband's addiction. She's able to speak from a place of both professional and personal authority on both sides of the fence — in a way that is direct, but never shaming.
You're Not Just Two People Trying to Survive This...
You are two wounded people learning — and unlearning — new things.
You are two of God's children holding a powerful testimony in the making.
Sometimes restoration doesn't look like staying together...
But restoration is a promise for each of you — no matter what.
Learn About Couples Coaching →Explore All Support Options
However You Need Support, We Meet You There.
Whether you're walking this alone or alongside him, here's exactly what each pathway includes.
A full pathway through Rooted, Refined, and Restored — with a level of support that fits her time, budget, and need.
- 3 tier options — solo, at your pace (or Couples Support, together)
- On-demand video modules, phase-specific to where you are — taught by Dani, APSATS Certified
- The Garden — a free peer community, moderated by our team, for any woman of Christian faith navigating betrayal recovery
- Supported & Held Tiers: phase-specific virtual, interactive small groups 2x monthly, led by Dani or another team member for deeper connection with safe community
- Discounts on other offerings
Non-clinical, faith-centered support — sobriety first, then the deeper work of becoming a safe, trustworthy man.
- Individual accountability coaching with Derek
- RITE Group (Restoring Intimacy Through Empathy) — An on-demand course with 12+ lessons that are self-paced, plus live group access for growth, Q&A, and accountability
- Tough Love Growth Community for virtual, interactive accountability, discipleship, and vulnerable, authentic connection
- Full Therapeutic Disclosure support, done directly with our coaches or in collaboration with other professionals you're working with
- Referrals coordinated for anything beyond coaching's scope
Couples coaching with Danielle, alongside continued individual support for each of you — the shape of your sessions changes as you grow.
- Monthly couples coaching with Danielle, length & frequency by phase
- Individual coaching continues for her and for him each month
- Her Garden community + his Tough Love community, both included
- Session structure shifts from Rooted into Refined, by design
- Course discounts for both partners at every level
The most important thing to understand about couples work after betrayal.
Intimate betrayal breaks the attachment bond — which is what causes the trauma known as betrayal trauma.
When a couple does "couples work," it is essential that the kind of work being done is specific to what each partner has done in their own individual recovery.
Unfortunately this isn't considered in generic couples work, and the result is often more damage done to one or both people in the relationship — for a variety of reasons.
For one, when one partner is deeply hurting and the other doesn't yet have the empathy and repair skills needed to provide the safety that she needs, she is left to feel alone and hopeless in her pain.
Meanwhile, he may be wanting and trying to learn how to live a life of integrity — maybe for the first time in decades…
Only now, while also having to face all the shame, guilt, and remorse. If he does want to save the marriage, he is likely living in fear of losing her and his family — however, without healthy coping or communication skills.
She is trying to survive what feels like the end of everything she believed was real. She is feeling angry, hurt, confused, scared, and highly reactive due to the unknown.
The truth is, he is likely feeling the same things, for different reasons…
Confused about his own choices, angry at himself and sometimes her, and scared of losing her, or saying the "wrong thing"...
Plus shame, creating a desire to run and hide, making connection and empathy very challenging!
As you probably know, as this is likely your experience too…
We get it, and we want to help you not just feel seen and understood, but to also get you the tools both of you need to stop the perpetual cycles you are in!
Both partners need supportive help from specialists who can meet each of them right where they are — with high accountability, gentle support, and evidence-based approaches consistently throughout each phase of the journey.
Couples-Centered Recovery is critically important for the best chance of reconciliation — and yet, what we do and when we do it matters immensely.
"The most powerful couples work happens when both partners are doing their own work at the same time."
For Couples Work to Be Effective, Certain Conditions Need to Be Met
We are unable to begin or continue couples work if there is:
- Any active emotional or physical abuse from either partner
- Domestic violence within the relationship, past or present
- An active, ongoing mental health crisis — including suicidal ideation, active psychosis, or any immediate safety concern
For couples work to be effective, both partners must be ready and willing to bring:
- Abstinence from addictive behavior(s), and no active, ongoing affairs
- Emotional sobriety through consistent recovery work
- HHOW — Honesty, Humility, Open-mindedness, and Willingness — from both partners (covered in detail in the video modules)
- Full commitment to the process, from both of you — not just one
- Addressing any and all patterns of behavior getting in the way of the work — including but not limited to unmanaged anxiety or depression, lying, or trauma triggers that lead to verbal or physical aggression
These aren't hurdles designed to keep you out — they're the honest conditions that give couples work the best chance to actually help, rather than cause further harm. Your screening call helps determine where you and your partner are today.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."— Romans 8:28, NIV
What Couples Work Looks Like at Different Places on the Road to Recovery
The couples work shifts with each phase — meeting you exactly where you are on the road, never ahead of where you're ready to go.
Learning to be safe for each other again — establishing the ground rules, sobriety goals, and boundaries that make it possible to stay in the same room without causing more harm.
- →Establishing ground rules and safety agreements
- →Boundary work — what does safe look like for her right now?
- →Defining sobriety goals together and check-in structures
- →Deciding together if clinical support is needed for him
- →Learning to be in the same room without causing more harm
"Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness."
Colossians 2:7, NLT
Grieving what was lost — together. As sobriety stabilizes, he begins to develop the empathy she needs, and the work of rebuilding trust begins one small, consistent act at a time.
- Couples-centered grieving — honoring what was lost
- Understanding the full impact of the betrayal on her and the family
- He is developing empathy and emotional connection as sobriety stabilizes
- Incrementally rebuilding trust through consistent action
- Increasing connection — learning to repair, not just apologize
"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify... and refine them like gold and silver."
Malachi 3:3, NIV
Not going back — becoming something new. Vision casting, new covenant, and stepping into a marriage neither of you has experienced before.
- Vision casting — what do we want to build going forward?
- New covenant — this is not a return to what was
- Redefining the relationship on stronger, honest ground
- Both articulating who they are individually — and who they are together
- Faith integration — what is God doing in this story?
"To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."
Isaiah 61:3, NIV
Here's exactly what couples get.
Note: Her individual coaching support — 1:1 sessions, live groups, and community access — is listed under her Support For Her enrollment. What's listed here reflects the couples-specific work and what's included together as a couple.
Monthly Couples Coaching Sessions with Danielle
Danielle leads every couples session — Derek may join as a support presence if the couple prefers. Individual coaching sessions for both partners are included at each level, giving each person their own space to process alongside the couples work.
- →Couples-centered check-ins — how are you each doing, and how are you doing together?
- →Phase-specific curriculum work — Rooted, Refined, or Restored topics applied to your relationship
- →Communication and repair skills — learning to have hard conversations without causing more harm
- →Accountability and next steps — what you're each committing to before the next session
Phase-Matched Couples Curriculum
Your couples content is matched to where you are in the Rooted/Refined/Restored pathway. The work you're doing individually informs the framework for your sessions together — nothing is generic, and nothing is wasted.
Integration with Each Partner's Journey
Danielle holds awareness of both your individual recovery journeys and uses that to guide the couples work. With appropriate consent, she connects the dots — so the whole picture informs the couple's recovery.
Faith-Integrated Framework
Every session is held within a Christian framework — covenant theology, forgiveness (which is not the same as reconciliation), the theology of suffering, and the biblical vision for marriage restoration.
Tough Love Community Included + Up to 50% Off RITE Group Couples Support Bonus
When you enroll in Couples Support, the Tough Love Community is included in his enrollment — no additional monthly fee. He also receives up to 50% off the RITE Group curriculum (Restoring Intimacy Through Empathy — the self-paced video program at the heart of Men's Pathway), making it significantly easier for him to do his own individual recovery work alongside the couples work you're doing together.
RITE Group is the material he will need if he struggles with low self-awareness, empathy, and connection. It is not automatically included in the Rooted curriculum — the appropriate time and need for the group is something our team considers with you, based on where he is.
Individual Growth Access — Included for Both Partners Couples Support
Alongside your couples work, each of you has your own dedicated growth space:
- →Her: Access to The Garden Women's Growth Community — an exclusive, private, faith-rooted space
- →Her: Full access to the Video Curriculum for her specific phase, with personalized recommendations of exactly where to start — these teachings are equivalent to sessions with Dani. 10+ hours of video teaching, valued at $1,800+.
- →Him: Access to Tough Love Men's Growth Community
Real value, not filler: Her video curriculum alone represents 10+ hours of Dani's recorded teaching — session-equivalent content worth $1,800+ at her 1:1 rate, included in your couples enrollment.
This is the same video curriculum she'd have access to if she were enrolled in Support For Her alone — Rooted or Refined, depending on where she is. The biggest difference here is that couples sessions with Dani are part of the journey too, and your level (Supported or Held) determines how many hours of individual coaching are included alongside them.
Members-Only Add-On Rates Couples Support
As a Couples Support member you receive exclusive access to discounted add-on rates — available only to active members:
- →Additional 1:1 with Danielle — $175/session
- →1:1 Accountability Coaching with Derek — $140/session
- →Additional couples sessions — discounted member rate
Member Bonuses Couples Support
Couples Support members receive exclusive bonuses on top of their monthly coaching:
- ★Couples Supported: 20% off Premium Courses + $100 off Soul Care Retreats
- ★Her (Supported): 15% off Free to Love or Boundaries Bootcamp
- ★Couples Held: 50% off Premium Courses + $250 off Soul Care Retreats
- ★Her (Held): 50% off Free to Love or Boundaries Bootcamp
- ★Him: Commit to 6 months, on either tier, and Restoring Intimacy Through Empathy Course is included
- ★Her (Refined Phase): Shattered Dreams Grief Group is included as part of Refined (a $780 value) — also available for individual purchase outside of Rooted, Refined & Restored enrollment
Video-Only Membership Downgrade Option
Life happens, and not every couple is ready for ongoing 1:1 or couples coaching forever. If you've completed your initial 3-month commitment and want to step back from live coaching while staying connected to the material and the community, you can downgrade.
- →One-time fee: $797 per couple
- →Full access to the Video Curriculum for your phase (Rooted or Refined), including any new videos added during your access period
- →Continued community access — The Garden (Her) and Tough Love (Him) — you're not walking this alone, even without live coaching
- →Term: 12 months of access, expiring at month 13
- →Resume 1:1/Couples Coaching or re-purchase Video-Only access anytime — no obligation to continue
Video-Only Membership does not include priority scheduling or Members-Only Add-On Rates and bonuses, which are reserved for clients actively enrolled in 1:1 or Couples Coaching.
Screening Required
Every couple goes through a screening call with Danielle before the pathway begins. She assesses each partner's individual readiness and ensures that entering couples work won't cause further harm. Not every couple is ready — and that is okay.
Dani has lived the couples work.
Certified Professional Coach · Gottman Level 1 · Certified Restoration Coach · Certified APSATS Professional · 20+ Years in the Helping Professions · Former Addictions Counselor · Marriage Restored(She also has an honorary PhD in Boundaries — ask anyone who's worked with her.)
Danielle and her husband don't just facilitate recovery — they've lived it. When she sits across from a couple in the hardest season of their lives, she is not speaking from theory.
She knows what it feels like for a wife to sit in a room with the man who broke her and wonder if he will ever be safe. She knows what it costs a man to actually become trustworthy. And she knows that restoration — real restoration — is possible.
Her training in betrayal trauma, Gottman method, and restoration coaching gives her the tools to hold both partners in the room. Her theology gives her the framework to hold the covenant.
Apply for Couples Coaching →First We Find Where You Need to Begin — Then You Choose Your Level of Support.
Choose Your Level of Support
Both levels include phase-matched curriculum, community access, individual coaching for both partners, and faith-integrated support.
What you receive over 3 months (Rooted phase)
Renewable at your current rate
- ✓ 1x monthly 60-min couples coaching session with Danielle
- ✓ Integration with individual recovery journeys
- ✓ Screening call for placement
- ✓ Her: Access to The Garden Women's Growth Community
- ✓ Her: Full access to Video Curriculum for her specific phase, with personalized recommendations of where to start (equivalent to sessions with Dani — 10+ hrs, a $1,800+ value)
- ✓ Him: Access to Tough Love Men's Growth Community
- ★20% off Premium Courses + $100 off Soul Care Retreats
- ★Her: 15% off Free to Love or Boundaries Bootcamp
- ★Him: Commit to 6 months and Restoring Intimacy Through Empathy Course is included
What you receive over 3 months (Rooted phase)
Renewable at your current rate
- ✓ 1x monthly 90-min couples coaching session with Danielle
- ✓ 2x monthly individual coaching for her (45 min)
- ✓ 2x monthly individual coaching for him (45 min)
- ✓ Integration with individual recovery journeys
- ✓ Screening call for placement
- ✓ Her: Access to The Garden Women's Growth Community
- ✓ Her: Full access to Video Curriculum for her specific phase, with personalized recommendations of where to start (equivalent to sessions with Dani — 10+ hrs, a $1,800+ value)
- ✓ Her: Private Podcast Vault access
- ✓ Her: Monthly Ask the Unfaithful session with Derek
- ✓ Her: Kayla's CO conference recording + monthly Q&A interview series
- ✓ Him: Access to Tough Love Men's Growth Community
- ✓ Additional bi-weekly check-in or group support
- ✓ Priority scheduling
- ★50% off Premium Courses + $250 off Soul Care Retreats
- ★Her: 50% off Free to Love or Boundaries Bootcamp
- ★Him: Commit to 6 months and Restoring Intimacy Through Empathy Course is included
Moving Into Refined? Same Investment, Different Work.
Your monthly rate stays the same as Rooted —
what changes is the shape of your sessions together.
- ✓ 1x monthly 90-min couples coaching session with Danielle
- ✓ 1x monthly individual coaching for her (45 min)
- ✓ 1x monthly individual coaching for him (45 min)
- ✓ Continued access to The Garden (for her) and Tough Love (for him) communities
- ✓ All Refined-phase curriculum and homework
- ✓ Her: Shattered Dreams Grief Group included as part of Refined (a $780 value)
- ★20% off Premium Courses + $100 off Soul Care Retreats
- ★Her: 15% off Free to Love or Boundaries Bootcamp
- ★Him: Restoring Intimacy Through Empathy Course included
- ✓ 2x monthly 90-min couples coaching sessions with Danielle
- ✓ 1x monthly individual coaching for her (45 min)
- ✓ 1x monthly individual coaching for him (45 min)
- ✓ Continued access to The Garden (for her) and Tough Love (for him) communities
- ✓ All Refined-phase curriculum and homework
- ✓ Her: Shattered Dreams Grief Group included as part of Refined (a $780 value)
- ✓ Priority scheduling
- ★50% off Premium Courses + $250 off Soul Care Retreats
- ★Her: 50% off Free to Love or Boundaries Bootcamp
- ★Him: Restoring Intimacy Through Empathy Course included
When you are both ready
Couples Restored — Customized for Your Journey
You have both done some serious work, and you may be ready to step more fully into Restoration together — deciding what the rest of your life looks like, building a new covenant, and stepping into who God is calling you to become, both individually and as a couple.
Request a consult and we will discuss a customized path for you both, based on your unique needs at this place in your journey — and how we can walk with you toward where you feel led to go.
Vision Casting
What does the rest of your life look like — together or apart — built on something new?
New Covenant Work
This is not a return to what was. It is the intentional building of something neither of you has been before.
Faith & Legacy
What is God doing in your story? What testimony are you becoming? What do you want to leave behind?
"Investment by application — because your Restored journey is as unique as your story."
Apply for Couples Restored →Session Breakdown by Recovery Phase and by Level of Support
Individual and couples sessions are coaching sessions — her Support For Her curriculum and videos are separate from these sessions, but included in the monthly membership cost. Currently over 10 hours of content recorded by Danielle (with more being added!), which saves time of work in the sessions!
For Couples Supported, Derek may join conjoint sessions as a support presence if the couple prefers.
Live Groups reflects her Garden group sessions and his Tough Love group sessions, each held 2x monthly.
Per Month = total sessions across both partners each month, including groups.
| Level | Couples Session | Her Individual | His Individual | Live Groups (Her & Him) | Per Month | 3-Month Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Phase 1 — Rooted | ||||||
| Couples Supported | 1 × 60 min | 1 × 45 min | 1 × 45 min | 2x + 2x monthly | 7 sessions | 21 sessions |
| Couples Held | 1 × 90 min | 2 × 45 min | 2 × 45 min | 2x + 2x monthly | 9 sessions | 27 sessions |
| Phase 2 — Refined | ||||||
| Couples Supported | 1 × 90 min | 1 × 45 min | 1 × 45 min | 2x + 2x monthly | 7 sessions | 21 sessions |
| Couples Held | TWO 90-min sessions | 1 × 45 min | 1 × 45 min | 2x + 2x monthly | 8 sessions | 24 sessions |
| Notice the shift in Refined & Held: individual sessions step down, but couples time doubles — two full 90-minute sessions with Danielle each month, dedicated to the relational repair work this phase is all about. | ||||||
| Phase 3 — Restored | ||||||
| Couples Restored | Custom — by application · investment based on your unique needs | |||||
Questions? [email protected]
They were where you are.
Couples Support
"Dani has been such a huge part of my healing journey. She has also played a huge role in my husband's steps to recovery from addiction and the restoration of my marriage. She always meets us with kindness, empathy, validation, and every single quality you look for in a coach. Brainspotting wasn't something we had even heard of before seeing Dani. The techniques were well explained and we both felt very comfortable during something that was emotionally overwhelming. We were given plenty of space to grieve and felt so much compassion from Dani during that process. We could both see an almost immediate change in the way we viewed those specific traumatic events in our lives.— A.F., NC
Also I love that she always has great communication and punctuality. That is so important to me with any professional relationship!"
Before You Enroll
A Discovery Call is Required
for Couples Enrollment.
For Couples Supported and Couples Held, Danielle speaks with both partners before enrollment begins. This is not a formality — it is her doing her job carefully. She assesses where each of you is individually, whether couples work is the right next step, and which level of support will serve you best.
Not every couple is ready for couples work right now — and if you're not, she will tell you that honestly and point you toward what you do need. That conversation protects both of you.
"Sometimes restoration doesn't look like staying together — but restoration is a promise for each of you, no matter what."
Request Your Discovery Call →Or email us: [email protected]